As another school year is coming to an end, it occurred to
me the other day how teaching is similar to marriage… I know this sounds weird,
but really think about it.
The first nine weeks of the school year is a total honeymoon
period. I am getting to know the kids, what they like, what they don’t like,
which genres they enjoy reading, what they know, what they don’t know and so
forth. I learn who their friends and family are, just like I learned who my
husband’s friends and family were when he and I first got together. They are on
their best behavior, just like my husband was on his best behavior in the
beginning. I know if they have allergies, when they are sick, what annoys them,
what makes them shut down and how to encourage them. During this time, I am
falling deeply in love with them and they with me. And all is right with the
world.
Then comes the winter months. The second and third nine
weeks are the ‘oh my gosh we’re married’ period. The period when I realize
there is a lot of hard work to do if we are going to build a solid foundation
that is going to be able to withstand the storms of the AIR test in the spring.
During this time, we are deep into the work of the relationship. I am also
learning what motivates or as my third grade team member likes to say, “what
innocently manipulates them”, into giving it their all. I find myself serving
them hot buttered toast on cold mornings, bringing donuts on Friday,
replenishing the candy basket or prize box and offering tons of verbal praise
and confirmation to each one. These are the same things I do to get my husband
to finish projects at home, take out the trash, hang up a picture or buy a new
couch. I must say, being married has given me a lot of experience in ‘manipulation’.
About halfway into the final nine weeks, things feel a
little different. I find myself sensing the impending ‘separation’; suddenly, I’m
‘flirting’ with second graders in the hallway, knowing they are almost MY
students now. I am also losing my patience more quickly than ever before when
someone tattles for the nineteenth time or “accidentally” puts big X marks all
over someone else’s paper. I can no longer referee the kickball game with
googly eyes or emoji hearts dancing above my head, instead I find myself
sounding like a sixty-year-old baseball umpire shouting at nine-year-olds, “You’re
out, take a seat”! It’s the same tone as when I occasionally snap to my husband
of 30 years, “No I didn’t cook dinner and the trash needs out”!
Although I am happily married and have little basis for this
final analogy, I liken the final days of the school year to still living with
your ex- but knowing the paper work is almost filed and you’re going to be ‘single’
again in a few days.
And all the mixed emotions that must go with that scenario are
present. I am just as excited for summer break as the kids, but I will truly
have to adjust to ‘being single’ again, even though it’s only for 12 weeks,
then I start a whole new relationship cycle. Every year I tell myself, “Oh my,
this is definitely my favorite class”, and every year, I sincerely mean it. I
love that I get to start over fresh every year and experience all the phases of
getting to know, falling in love and sending to fourth grade, eight and nine
year olds. They are by far the best age group to teach, to play with, to ‘innocently
manipulate’, to feed, to take care of and to build a great friendship with that
I honestly believe will last a lifetime.
Just like a lovable ex-husband, I know as they grow up, they
will remain in my life whether through social media, occasional phone calls, or
personal visits. When you spend a year building and investing in a genuine
relationship, that relationship survives the honeymoon, the marriage, the hard
work, the disagreements, the arguments, the good days, the tough days and even INSIDE
RECESS! And if a relationship can survive INSIDE RECESS all winter long, trust
me, it can survive ANYTHING!
This has truly been a great year, with an amazing class and
I LOVE every single one of them. I have four final days for the 2017-2018
school year to spend with an EPIC team and 38 phenomenal kids, and even though
this day lasted 18 hours, it’s still the best job I could ever have imagined!
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