The End...That Never Ends

Shelly Webb

I have always hated endings, even happy endings to me are sad. When something ends, it’s over and I don’t like “over”. I like things to go on and on and never run out. Whether I am reading a book, watching a movie, or on vacation, I feel sad when things are winding down. I even mentally prepare myself to bid characters in books good-bye as I near the final chapter. I have actually committed the unpardonable sin of reading the ending of a book first, just so I can prepare for what’s going to happen. You see, as bad as I hate endings, I am worse at having to know HOW it’s going to end.

I have been thinking about endings a lot lately and wondering if “happy” endings could ever really exist. I mean what could possibly be “happy” about the end of something? I think these thoughts are rooted in the frequency I’ve been to calling hours or funerals lately. The older I get, it seems the more endings I find myself facing. And knowing that we all have an “ending” on this earth makes me feel really sad.

Life is amazing and everyday holds such promise and potential, even when things are going bad, I want another chance, a clean slate, a fresh start. I just always want more. And if I can’t always have more, then I at least want to know the ending so I can start adjusting.

Having faith in Christ and reading His Word allows me an insight into the future regardless of how my ending on earth will come about. I have always loved the verses in I Thessalonians 4:13-18, Paul not only speaks about endings, but he gives us an early edition into the future.

“¹³ But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.¹⁴ For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. ¹⁵ For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.¹⁶ For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. ¹⁷ Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. ¹⁸ Therefore comfort one another with these words.”

I love that scripture refers to those Christians who have died as, “asleep”. Asleep is not an end. Asleep is a rest or a pause; people that have fallen asleep wake up. Sleep is not permanent. I remember after my mom’s funeral reading and re-reading these verses over and over, day after day, month after month.

Grief is one of the strongest emotions, if not THE strongest that an individual will ever feel. It is a bottomless pit of anguish and the feeling of hopelessness that engulfs a person grieving is personal and indescribable to anyone else. No two people grieve the same way, the same length of time, or can even understand another person’s grief despite how much grief they themselves have endured.

Endings bring me varying degrees of grief. The end of a good book, I feel a little down for a few minutes and then move on, the end of a good movie or TV series, I’m disappointed for a night or two and then whatever show it was I was watching leaves my mind. The end of an era (a graduation, a wedding, my kids growing up, getting older) can make me feel really sad for a few days at a time, every now and then. Believe it or not, even the last days of the school year, I find myself feeling that lost feeling, like it’s all ending and they’re moving on to another grade.

I hate change, I hate loss and I despise death, but I remind myself that God doesn’t want me to be “uninformed” about those who are “asleep”. I hope that one day when I “fall asleep”, someone will remind my own kids of these scripture verses and that even though they might feel like it’s the end, I want someone to help them work through their grief the best they can with God’s grace and comfort and focus on the reunion that will happen when I wake up, well rested and raring to go!