Could the real power in the classroom be-- ‘connecting’

          “Mrs. Webb, we’re broke,” the sweet, little voice blatantly shared on the second day of school, “our van won’t run and my dad lost his job and now we’re even out of milk now.”

Before I really had time to process the worry her face showed, I heard the truth spilling out of my mouth, “Ugh I’ve been broke before,” I quietly told her. “It’s not fun, is it?”

          She looked surprised. I’m sure she was trying to decide if I was telling her the truth or not. It was just she and I, so I elaborated. I explained to her that when I was in fourth grade, my family was having a rough time with money. I told her my dad did not have a job at that time and it was really hard, especially at Christmas and Birthdays. I gave a few more personal details and let her know that I completely understood how she had to be feeling.

          Oddly enough, this conversation brought a slight smile to her face. I think she felt encouraged or eased in the fact that I actually connected with her dilemma. She found relief in knowing that I had lived a similar experience and it had turned out okay eventually.

          Even though it’s a big term that children are completely unaware of, “socio-economics” can be as crucial to their success in school as the actual curriculum they are being taught. The little information I shared that day about my own childhood was true so I know first-hand.

When you are a child, sitting in a classroom with the knowledge that the electricity at your house is no longer in service because the bill was not paid, you really don’t care about finding the unknown factor in a multiplication sentence. You are not concerned with comprehending the main idea of a text or the neat, little acronym your teacher just wrote on the board to recall the names of the planets.

          We are all familiar with Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs model, developed in 1948. We realize that basic needs must be taken care of first, before an individual can move on or care about the non-basic needs such as esteem and self-actualization. In other words knowing your math facts or spelling words takes a back seat when “you’re broke and there was no milk for your cereal that morning”.

          I recently ran across a powerful article entitled, “Social Networks: What Maslow Misses” written by Pamela Rutledge, Ph.D., M.B.A., Director of the Media Psychology Research Center. In this article, Rutledge ascertains that Maslow’s model “doesn’t give enough credit to the role of social connection.”

          Rutledge agrees that the human brain is driven by a basic instinct to survive and that this need trumps all others. She also agrees with levels of Maslow’s model and how humans move through those levels, however she states, “But here’s the problem with Maslow’s hierarchy. None of these needs — starting with basic survival on up — are possible without social connection and collaboration”.

          While the crux of the article is to shed light on the importance of social connections within Maslow’s model, and how social media can serve as a medium for both goals, I believe simply “making a connection” with individual students can impact everything else you do.

          If a child believes you understand there’s more to their life than what goes on from 9:15 to 3:20 and that you care, you become a safe zone, a refuge, a person they connect with; and that is what every individual of any age needs.

           Connections are key to making a difference in any job, situation or with any individual. As humans, we need to feel like others understand us, know where we’re coming from and what we’re struggling with and more importantly that they care.

          Whether someone is eight or eighty, they’re facing a struggle. Should eight-year-olds be worried about financial needs? Of course not, but kids are very aware of what is going on in their family and household. They know when mom and dad argue and what they argue about; they know if grandpa or grandma has a health problem and how serious that problem may be; they know if money is tight, if dad is getting laid off, or about any other trouble the family could be facing.

          Expecting every child to come to school one-hundred percent focused on the task at hand is unrealistic; but connecting with their concerns and taking a few minutes to convey the message, “I know it’s tough right now and I can relate,” might make the burden seem a little lighter. I believe if a child knows their teacher “gets it” (has some insight into their world), and cares, that in itself can be a powerful motivator.

          “Connecting and collaborating”---are these actions worthy to be included somewhere within Maslow’s model? I am not sure how Maslow would feel about it, but when it comes to communication we have learned as a society that connecting and collaborating are essential to success globally whether the topic is business, technology, education ect…, so maybe it’s essential to students as well.