Would you rather own an upright piano or a grand piano?
Would you rather visit a canyon, or the Grand Canyon?
What about a hotel, would you rather stay in a regular hotel,
or in a Grand Hotel?
In all these examples, most people would choose the “grand”
over the alternative. A grand piano is more majestic and noticeable than an
upright piano. The Grand Canyon obviously, more splendid than other canyons,
and most vacationers would opt for the Grand Hotel if affordable.
But what makes something “grand”—well it’s “more”,
it’s “majestic”, “impressive”, “better”.
So now, think of GRAND parents, what should they look like?
Should they just be upright, regular or should they be GRAND?
I am grateful that my daughter and son-in-law allow me to be
GRAND in every sense of the word with their children. They’re okay if I bend
boundaries or break rules. They hold their tongue and roll their eyes, but they
always let me be grand. They don’t withhold their children from me because I
gave them soda or an extra juice, or didn’t make them take a nap. When my
grandkids are with me, they know they are safe and loved. They also know that I
am not going to do everything the way it’s done at home, but they understand
that’s the “grand” part of being a grandparent. I buy them too much, and I make
them whatever they request for lunch. Sometimes they cry to stay and don’t want
to go home, and who could blame them, it’s far too GRAND to leave.
Grand hotels offer luxuries and amenities that regular
hotels don’t, such as full 24-hour room service, hot breakfasts, a wide menu
full of all kinds of foods and desserts, large fitness centers, fancy gardens,
helpful staff with smiles on their faces, extra towels, and even swimming pools.
Grandparents are similar to grand hotels. We know the
secrets of good customer service. We are older, more patient and have learned
that life goes by pretty fast so the second time around we are more about the
memories and fun than the “rules”. Kids have parents to enforce the rules,
serve the vegetables, and regulate bedtimes. Grandparents can enforce excessive
fun and silliness, tell the jokes, and bend the rules. It’s a part of the being
“grand” thing.
When I was a kid I LOVED staying at my grandparents’ house
on the weekend. I would be so sad after church on Sundays because I knew my dad
would be arriving soon to pick me up. It wasn’t that I didn’t love my dad and
mom, it was just that my grandparents’ humble home was the first magical kingdom
I ever knew. One special cupboard in my grandma’s house held the fudge striped
cookies that I loved. I always knew there would be a pack in there just for my
pleasure. I also knew we would walk to Paul’s Grocery Store, I’d hear a story
on the way, and we would buy penny candy once we were there. My grandparent’s lived
in town and had TV with lots of channels, and I loved watching Gilligan’s
Island and Bewitched at their house. Being at my grandparent’s house was all
about special amenities, treats, listening to stories, watching TV, playing games
and being spoiled and loved on. My parents never once reprimanded my
grandparents for overindulging or breaking a rule. It was expected and accepted,
and I fully understood that once I got home, it was back to normal.
I feel like today, there is a lot of talk about “boundaries”
and “rules”. I even hear the word “toxic” used to describe some grandparents
that disagree or don’t uphold every rule laid down by their adult children. It
makes me sad because kids have one chance at being a kid. They have a few quick
‘kid years’ to make those bonds and relationships with grandparents, bonds and
relationships that can last a lifetime if allowed to bloom and grow. I realize
in rare cases there may be situations that are not ideal for children to be around
a grandparent, but honestly those cases are far and few between.
Imagine a Grand Hotel with no pool or room service, or a
Grand Staircase that’s not allowed to be walked up, or going to the Grand
Canyon only to be told you can look for one minute, that’s the rule. It would
suck all the ‘grand’ right out of it!
Let grandparents be grand…it’s the best part of being a
grandparent. Your parents raised you, they loved you, taught you to be a good
worker, taught you character and made you tow the line. It’s their turn to
relax and enjoy bending some rules. Who cares if they give your kid a donut for
breakfast or two apple juices? These little things that might drive you nuts
now, will not have lasting effects, just lasting memories. There’s a reason why
my husband who is 66 remembers walking down to his grandma’s every morning at 5
AM to enjoy a Pop Tart and morning chat. It’s the same reason why he did
anything she asked when he was an adult, and why it broke his heart the day she
passed. She was permitted to be GRAND. Never rob anyone of their GRANDNESS and
enjoy your own GRANDNESS when you become GRAND one day.
