Son OR Son-in-Law----it's all the same to me

     Having been blessed with two amazing daughters has been the most significant part of my life. Everything else I have accomplished in my life is really just icing on the cake, my girls were and continue to be “the cake”.  

     And as if cake and icing weren’t enough, recently a new addition to our family has added a much needed scoop of ice-cream! For a little over a year now I have had the privilege of having a SON-in-law, which is actually the next best thing to a having son; maybe even better. After all I didn’t have to raise him or pay the high car insurance that boys normally have to pay. I didn’t have to pay for his soccer shoes, his sports camps, play to pays or the big grocery bill that comes with having boys (which moms of boys have always told me all about). I have the reward without the work, which rarely works out in life.

     When I first met Coty…I just wasn’t sure. It’s always hard when your kids start relationships. I didn’t really know Coty, he wasn’t a ‘River View Black Bear’; in fact he had graduated from that “other” school, and was Red and Black all the way! He was nice enough…but just someone new and different. The more I got to know him though, the more I genuinely liked him and eventually loved him.

     Today I feel very blessed to have Coty as my SON-in-law. He has honestly become as much ‘my kid’ as my own daughters. We think alike, we make the same sarcastic comments (all in good fun) and we both love trivia and playing games. He is helpful and willing to put himself second to make things work out for someone else. But more than this, I know that Coty loves my daughter and little grandson as much as I do. He gives them his most precious commodity, his time. He helps clean, cook, sweep, shop, and also works his full-time job. He plays with my grandson, chases him, wrestles him and loves him. Without Coty, we wouldn’t even have Grayson, and I can’t imagine a life without this little guy. In a way, Coty has given my husband and I, a brand new role in life and whole new adventure in helping to make us grandparents.

     Even though I didn’t raise him, I have a bond with this amazing young man. He is thoughtful and funny and is more apt to help me out some days than either one of my daughters, a fact that makes me smile and frown at the same time! I know I can count on Coty.       This is a comforting thought because I know that someday I will probably have to count on him more than I will want too. Still I like knowing that when and if that day comes, he will be there; and he will be there with grace and kindness because that is who he is and what kind of man he will always be.

What I hope my kids learned in third grade…

Shelly Webb

May 1st. ushers in a sense of completion in my mind. The sound of lawnmowers, the smell of fresh-cut grass and the amount of spring cleaning remind me that another year of school is waning to an end.

I start thinking of “my kids” and how they will all be moving on and I wonder what exactly they will take with them to fourth grade, what have they learned this year. I refer to them as “my kids”, because they truly have become “mine”. When you spend five days a week with a child for nine months, you can’t help but become sucked into their life.

 I know all about them, I know their personalities, their strengths, and their weaknesses. I know how sensitive or tough they are and how they are going to react to whatever situation. I can predict their thought pattern, I know what motivates them and I know what shuts them down. I know who needs pushed and I know who needs built-up, before they can be pushed.

Academically they have ALL grown, some have shown remarkable growth and some average growth, but overall they have all grown and learned lots of things.

For instance, they have increased their vocabulary significantly, they know many Greek and Latin Roots, they can compare and contrast two texts, they know about fables, folktales and myths, they can write an opinion, they can identify nouns, verbs, adjective, adverbs and pronouns, they have increased their reading level and they are well-versed in various genres and authors of their time.

And all that is great…but it’s really not the most important things they have learned. What my kids have learned that matters most of all is that they now have one more adult in their life that genuinely cares about them. They have learned that I believe in them, and that I understand some of the tough circumstances in their young lives. They have learned that I am available to listen, talk or help them out.

They have all learned that MISTAKES are NECESSARY in school and more importantly in life, and that every mistake is a chance to learn and that no one truly ‘learns’ without making mistakes. They have learned that they do not have to be perfect and that their teacher is VERY FAR from perfect.

They have learned that they are free to mess up, to become frustrated, to lose a book, to forget a book, to fail a test, and to re-take a test. They are free to make choices, to share with each other, to have a disagreement, to say ‘I’m sorry’ and to grow. They have also learned the one thing they can NEVER do… and that is to, “give up on learning”. Even when the text looks too hard or the book looks too long, they know they have to dig deep and persevere. They have learned that “hard work” far, far outweighs being smart and that they all have the ability to be hard-workers.

I have taught them how important a good work ethic is when it comes to getting a job. They know that this one valuable character trait can take them much further than the number attributed to their IQ score.

We have also delved into various college websites to learn that college really can be for everybody. Degrees in programs like ‘Wildlife Conservation’, ‘Mechanical Engineering’, ‘Art’ and ‘Sports and Fitness Management’ grabbed the curiosity of a few that had little interest in college until then. The smile on their faces and new enthusiasm for their future was priceless.

 I believe my kids have learned the content standards, which is vitally important for their success in future grades. But to be honest…my mission is so much bigger than that.

When that last day of third grade comes and goes, I hope it comes and goes with life long memories full of magic and grace. I hope that years from now a random thought back to third grade brings a smile to their faces. I hope they remember the prize box, the music we played, the debates and skits we did, the suckers, the tootsie rolls, and I hope they think of me and realize that Mrs. Webb really, truly cared about them and their future…because I do!