“Will the test
count against us,” a third-grader asked me when we were reviewing for the
upcoming PARCC Math Assessment? She thought this was a simple question and
wanted a simple answer. I told her that it wouldn’t really count “against” her, but it would just
show a picture of what all she had learned. But wow, was that a loaded
question!
After I
answered her question then my own mind started racing…”will the test count
against ME, the teacher”, “will I be viewed as a failure if 80% of my students
don’t pass it”? I continued mentally processing, “I have 25 kids so five can
fail, which five will that be”? I actually looked around the room and quickly counted…I
saw potentially seven students that may have a tough time passing this test. Then
I thought, “what if seven don’t pass, what percentage is that of 25”!
I could have
continued in that thought pattern all day long, but I forced myself to STOP.
It is a stressful concept to grasp when
you realize that twenty-five, eight or nine-year-old kids that you have taught
for a year will be taking an OAA, PARCC, STAR and SLO to measure their growth
and achievement. Whether I like it or not, test scores do reflect back on me.
But despite this, I am trying to focus on the fact that what I do every day is
what defines me as a teacher more so than a test score.
In my
opinion, the biggest measure I am defined by is how my students perceive me and
the relationship I have with them. I want my students to ‘know’ that I care and
think about them more than the six hours a day I have them in class. I want to
be defined by the fact that I know my kids on a personal level, I know their
strengths, their weaknesses and their personality. I know how to get them
motivated and what shuts them down. I know their learning style; I know who
gets it better ‘visually’ and who gets it better ‘by listening’. I know which
kids prefer ‘hands on’ learning and which ones don’t. I can tell by the look on
their faces, if there’s a problem or concern. It’s amazing how well you get to
know someone that you work together with every day and that is exactly what we
do…work together.
I realize
that my student’s attitude towards learning will define me much more than the
score they receive on a test. I want to see myself through their eyes. I love
it at the end of the day, when the one child that I’ve had to speak to three or
four times or dock some recess time from, hugs me bye and still says, “You’re
the best teacher”. Now I’m not sure if he really means it or if he is just
trying to make amends for a rough day, but I love it because even though I’ve
scolded him, he still ‘knows’ I genuinely care about him and I am up for a hug.
I want to be
defined by the expectations I set, the tears I prevent and the ones I wipe
away. I want to be defined by the math concepts they finally understand, the
number of books they read, the narratives they write and the critical thinking
skills they develop. I want to be defined by their laughter when I make a lame
joke (and most of my jokes are pretty lame). I want to be defined for how I
make my kids feel about learning and themselves.
I full well
understand that test scores are vitally important and those scores will be a reflection
on how well I have presented and taught the standards. But I do realize it is
just one piece of the overall picture. There are so many other issues and goals
during the course of a year, and the individual child that I see and interact
with every day is my top priority. I want to always see the ‘child’ and not a potential
test score. Every student deserves that and every teacher deserves it as well.
